MCQP's Comic Strip Party

If you're in Cape Town on December the 16th, consider heading the the Comic Strip themed party being held by MCQP. This annual event is a costume extravaganza that generally involves lots of colour, metres of fabric, rippling body parts and gratuitous flesh. Please, boys and girls.....if you've been avoiding gym this year and plan to don lots of lycra for the event, consider your neighbours and fellow party goers?

Langebaan

If you fancied a drive out of Cape Town and want to try some kite surfing (during the windy summer season), try Langebaan. Nestled on a shallow lagoon (one of the largest, or the largest, oyster graveyard in the world) Langebaan is a sleepy village that is fast becoming popular for those wanting a weekend away from the city.

The West Coast National Park is literally a five minute drive away and is an interesting if somewhat odd drive. You have to pay for the privilege of driving through the park and for that privilege, get to drive in and out of SANP gates - and that's about it. The Geelbek restaurant serves pretty standard fare and it's claim to fame is being the home of the cast of Eve's foot - a footprint left behind in mud by an early human.

The 'industrial' feel to some of these photos is because there was a protective wall being constructed where we stayed. Not that it would do much to protect against the impending global warming, but hey, it keeps people employed!

Love this quote

The day Microsoft makes something that doesn't suck is probably the day they start making vacuum cleaners.

From Macusers.com

Neoprene time is here soon

Kiteboarding is really big in Cape Town over our summer months. The howling south-easterly wind help attracts wind and water fanatics from all over the world. For the 'appreciative' person, this means lots of beach action, with the sporty jocks stepping in and out of their wetsuits and kitting up with board and sail. A sight to behold indeed, as the pictures kindof show.

To kiteboard in Cape Town you need to be prepared spend time in very cold water, especially when the wind won't blow strong enough. Kiteboarding can be quite dangerous, and instruction is needed before attempting this physically demanding sport. Butch points: 9.5/10

Technical Sabbatical

My life has become exceptionally busy and to boot, iPhoto has given up. Problem being I havent reinstalled it and I wont use windows to sort my pix. Lots of pix from the Pink Loerie to upload too - hope to sort everything out this week!

The fog

Being a coastal city, Cape Town is no stranger to rapid weather changes. Wind and fog are no exception. Blouberg, across the bay from Cape Town has spectacular picture perfect views of the city and Table Mountain. Spectacular until the fog rolls in. Then all you get is a grey 'live' view of the weather map, minus the blue triangles, red semi-circles and badly dressed weather person.

Long Street Baths

If you fancy a good old fashioned Turkish Bath - the sort where you get the crap rubbed and beaten out of you in the name of cleanliness, try the Turkish Baths at the top of Long Street in Cape Town. A heated indoor public swimming pool and Turkish bath delights await. I can not vouch for their current state of repair and use, but they were very popular and well maintained. Not really a gay cruising area - try your luck at Hot House instead - but hey, where there are naked men, there may be action!

Anyone who has been to the baths recently is welcome to post and comment. If not, I'll give them a go :-)

Signal Hill, Cape Town

Gay couples, straight couples, groups of friends old and young all make the pilgrimage to watch our star dip below the horizon. Its best to do this somewhere high up. Chapman's Peak Drive is one place to do this. Signal Hill in the heart of the city is a much forgotten alternative. People mill around, walk the paths, eat and drink, or chat and listen to music without getting rowdy and bothersome. Its a lovely way to end a sunny warm day. It's best appreciated with friends, but if you need some once you're there, there are plenty of people you could acquaint yourself with ;-). Security is pretty good with car guards and guards with torches/flashlights, that walk the paths once the sun has set.

To get there, follow the signs for the Table Mountain Cableway from the city (heading towards Camps Bay along Buitengracht). When you get to the cableway turning on Kloofnek Road (the top part of Buitengracht), turn right into Signal Hill Drive and follow it all the way to the top of Signal Hill. There you'll get great panoramic photo opportunity views of Bantry Bay along to the Waterfront and the City. If it's not too hazy, you should be able to spot Bloubergstrand and Melkbosstrand way across Table Bay. Of course, the famous Robben Island is very visible.

Please take your litter with you or use the lidded bins provided. Smoking up there is a fire hazard (dry brush everywhere), so please exercise utmost caution and heed signs if you must smoke there. There is usually some refreshment stand of some sort as well as a small visitor centre and some whiffy eco-loos.

Rather take your own food and drink - but remember to take a blanket to picnic on/roll around on after dark and a torch to find your picnic that got scattered with the rolling around :-)

Iziko: South African National Gallery

The Iziko is hosting a Picasso exhibition till 21 May 2006. If you are in town (Cape Town)and want to see works done by a modern master - pop in. As we all know, anything that engages kulcha is a magnet for the informed friends of Dorothy, so admire the paintings and cruise the clientele! This is the exhibition's second stop, after a five week trip to Jo'burg.

Happy viewing!

More plants than you can poke a stick at

Every country has its botanical institution. Even if they are the most threadbare of parks, as a species, we tend to find comfort in literally returning to (our) roots and enjoying peace and tranquility under a shady bough; momentarily escaping the schedule of the day to day grind. So, if you are among the hoards of schedule paced tourists arriving in bus after bus after bus, following umbrellas, sticks, where's the translator.. and damn - who IS that with the baby screaming...... take a trip to Kirstenbosch.

Although not guaranteed to leave the madding crowds far behind - it is a very popular spot for tourists and locals alike - Kirstenbosh has to rank among the best and most spectacular gardens in the world. Set behind Table Mountain (the part that gets the weather), the dramatic backdrop of the mountain and the stunning displays of indigenous plants and art is a worthwhile day out. You will recognise many flowers, which have become part of many homes and gardens worldwide - but here, you see them in their original and natural habitat. Genteel concerts are often held at Kirstenbosch, so check online for details.

There is a snack bar, restaurant and funky waterless eco-urinals. Not sure what eco-wonders are in the ladies though. Have an enjoyable camera happy day out!

Arbitrary old building

Taken early evening on the way to the Symphony of Fire, Cape Town has some lovely buildings that really stand out when the lights come on. So often we take things for granted, just driving backwards and forwards. Sometimes its nice to sit at the back and just appreciate your city.

Pink Loerie

The Pink Loerie is a gay carnival annually held in the genteel town of Knysna. Originally conceived to help with tourist flow and the subsequent tourist money, the festival is a buy-in by residents and retailers, which always helps. More first-hand information and photos after the event this May...

Fireworks galore

The "Symphony of Fire" took place this past week. It's an international fireworks competition that takes place at Cape Town's Waterfront. There were plans to host it at the Witwatersrand Botanical Gardens in Johannesburg, but due to a rather rare nesting family of Black Eagles, the event was moved to the Cape to rather terrorise the more plentiful seagulls.

The competition lasts a week and is an international event. It's also the largest fireworks display on the continent.

Seats can be booked - but if you do, ensure you arrive well in advance, so you don't have to lean out your car window to watch the displays while stuck in a queue of cars all trying to get to the Waterfront!

The Grand Finale that took place last night did seem somewhat short, but the displays were amazing.

Slight Pause

Currently on a two week course with a gruelling homework and daily test schedule, so almost all other activities are on hold till the course is over.

The south-west tip of the continent

This is Cape Point, part of what is the Table Mountain National Park. The other point of interest a few minutes drive from Cape Point, is the Cape of Good Hope. This whole area was of great shipping significance back in the day - lots of wrecks to prove it too! Standing on the tip of Africa and looking south towards Antarctica, the Indian ocean is on the left and the Atlantic on the right. The actual merging point of the two bodies of water is somewhat less distinct, with Cape Agulhas (the southernmost tip of Africa) also claiming the 'two oceans' title.

Cape Point is a pleasant walk. Watch out for the baboons though - they are vicious!

Pools

Swimming pools abound in South Africa. A daytime flight into Johannesburg or Cape Town International airports will confirm this. However, where is the visitor to swim? The hotel pool? Not everyone will be staying at a hotel with a star that means pool. The sea? Good luck to you if you're in Cape Town. The pool in the yard next to your guesthouse? Better hope they leave the electric fence on low.

Or, you could just head on down to Seapoint in Cape Town and experience the public pools.

Entry is cheap and the pools are immaculate, warmed and have attendants on duty. Swim, dive, exercise and pose to your hearts content - and not a shark in sight!

Like a national supermarket chain, but not

Adult World is an adult store that specialises in all things adult. Not the sort of 'grown up things' your mom used to refer to but the sort grown up things you could discover as you, well, grow up. Of course, there is a lot of plastic novelty stuff and a lot of novelty plastic stuff. VHS and DVD's to cater for most tastes, colours and inclinations. Some shops have cinemas and 'entertainment areas'. Opening times vary, so call your nearest one before venturing out for that late night unplanned pleasure spicer upper!

Adult Worlds have a decent selection of gay stuff and are very gay friendly. In the absence of dedicated shops in the outskirts or smaller towns, Adult World is it.

The one in this picture is off St George's Mall in Cape Town. Landmark to look out for is the Golden Acre arcade in the background.

Where our money comes from

This is the South African Reserve Bank building in Cape Town's City Bowl. It looks vey much like it's counterpart in Pretoria.

Walking around downtown Cape Town on a Saturday morning is very pleasant indeed. Not only do you get to appreciate the melting pot of people and cultures, but without all the weekday traffic and city centre people, you get to appreciate the architecture better.

Franschoek

Franschoek is one of those 'quaint' places that every country has. Popular with locals and foreigners, Franschoek is about an hours drive out of Cape Town. The place is famed for it's Huguenot links (with dedicated memorial) - and thus, a quasi spiritual mecca for many South Africans. There is a museum that documents the beginnings of European involvement in the Cape where many South Africans of French origin can trace their family trees directly to those who landed in 1652, all of 354 years ago.



As a tribute to its French past (albeit somewhat tainted by exile and persecution), Franschoek liberally uses red, white and blue in abundance and is not shy of naming everything possible in French, or after connections with France. Of course the fact that the area is also big in wine helps cement the whole French feel. It can feel somewhat like overkill - in the 'oh, this must be the French area of the world in a theme-park' vein - but it is still well worth a visit for the spectacular scenery.



There is a very very busy chocolate shop, so be prepared to stand your ground for your turn to be serverd. Otherwise, there is a choice of jewelry, art, wine and local curio shops scattered between genteel (and not so genteel) restaurants on the main road. Eat, shop, sightsee and be merry.

Smoking

Although much of Africa's image might seem more akin to 70's dictator with safari suit, thick dark glasses and a cigar, much of the continent sides with the anti-smoking lobby. South Africa is no exception.

Smoking in public places is banned. The mutually understood definition of a public place is somewhat more hazy. For example, a 'private' shopping mall forbids smoking once you've passed the sliding glass doors headed towards the shops. But smoking while walking down a 'public' street with shops and cafe's is apparently fine.

Restaurants should provide a physically separate smoking area, or else they are non-smoking, according to legislation. The smoking area is supposed to be sealed, with externally vented, non-recyclable air-con, with appropriate signs: and no under 16's allowed. Enter the hazy definition of public.... Many restaurants, not keen to spend the money to create a specific smoking room, put smokers outside and let interpretation take over. Non-smokers seated outside trying to persuade fellow 'al-fresco' diners to not smoke? Good luck to you.

Bars, clubs and tobacconists are considered smoking establishments, so you are legally entitled to recycle second hand smoke to your lung's content.

All internal flights are non smoking and most international airlines are non-smoking. All airports are non-smoking but restaurants may have smoking areas. Same applies to trains and stations - but there may be smoking carriages or sections.

Smokers normally gravitate to external doors to relieve themselves - but beware, the law will soon be amended to prohibit smoking within a 5 metre radius of doorways.

If it is the dry season, please do not throw cigarettes out of car windows. Fires will start and damage will happen to to property and the environment.

Need tunes in your rent-a-wreck?

Its the same story the world over. You've arrived, you have the car and on the way to the hotel, you poke around the radio stations, hoping to find something vaguely to your taste.

Luckily, we have a pretty good choice to pick from here. Talk radio (in many languages) to classical to trashy pop to pirate dance radio - take your FM pick!

This list isn't definitive but hopefully there will be something to your liking before you can get to a CD shop!

National

• 5FM. Cape Town, 89.0; Johannesburg, 98.0; Durban, 89.9; 5fm frequency finder. Hails from our national broadcaster and is broadcast countrywide. Currently undergoing what would appear to be a minor demographic change, 5FM caters predominantly for the younger crowd playing anything from pop, to hip-hop to dance (Sat evening's Saturday Surgery is good) to rock.


• RSG: 100-106 (another from the SABC). More suitable for the daring Dutch tourist, this station is purely Afrikaans. With a mixture of talk radio, rock, classical and some boeremusiek, it caters for the contemporary Afrikaans speaking set.

Gauteng - Johannesburg/Pretoria and surrounds

• 94.7 Highveld. Can also be streamed across the net (not so easy to do in a car though). Highveld caters for a varied crowd and is listened to in offices all over Gauteng. Broadcast in English, music is mostly contemporary pop.


• 94.2 Jacaranda. Also available online, Jacaranda is also changing it's demographics. It's now like the Afrikaans/English cousin of Highveld, although the two companies are not connected. Music leans from contemporary 'adult' pop to hits of yesteryear.


• 95.9 Kaya. Also available online. Playing a lot of jazz and contemporary South African music, Kaya caters for a predominantly black African market. Listened to in offices all over Gauteng.

Cape Town

• 94.5 KFM. Similar in concept to Jacaranda with the English/Afrikaans programming with its mix of 'adult contemporary' music.

Durban

• East Cost Radio. Based in Durban. Programming aimed at younger ages with its contemporary pop music.

Staying in to watch the box?

South Africa has four terrestrial television channels. SABC (the South African Broadcasting Corporation) has the cunningly named SABC 1, SABC 2 and SABC 3. The channels cater for the different demographics we have.

SABC 1 is aimed largely at the African language population, but some programming includes some English. SABC 2 is aimed largely at the English and Afrikaans speaking populations. SABC 3 is English only for whoever will watch. SABC is the national broadcaster and includes a myriad of radio stations. However, as with all government mouthpieces, impartiality can be somewhat skewed at times. SABC offers local and imported programs, sports and news. Altogether, not a bad offering really as long as you can negotiate the rash of soapies (soap opera's).

The fourth terrestrial channel is Cape Town based ETV. ETV is broadcast predominantly in English and is a popular alternative channel to the SABC stable. Again, a good mixture local and international programs with its own fair share of melodramatic soaps.

Satellite is provided by Multichoice. With over 50 channels, they provide typical satellite offerings: loads of news and sports, repeated movies and popular sitcom stuff. MTV and VH1, cartoons and several BBC choices make Multichoice popular with hotels and the well heeled set - but just be prepared to watch the same stuff over and over, and over...

Its a matter of Pride

Whilst a bit late to promote for 2006, it's worth noting that Cape Town has its Pride march and party the last weekend of February. Johannesburg has its later on in the year, normally in September.

They are somewhat smaller events than the marches and parties of the first world, but no less significant to the local community. The format follows a pretty much international pride-like format: a float/party march round the city followed by parties, fun events and clubbing. Normal people watch out - pride is the day one your conservative sensibilities might get an eyeful!

Wine, olives and arty stuff

South Africa is famous for wine and olives. You may well agree with the wine part based on your supermarket knowledge back home, but olives?

From the Mediterranean climate of the Western Cape to the semi-desert Northern Cape, olive and grapes are immensely important to the region, providing employment, economic stability and tourism opportunities.

The various Wine Routes (Stellenbosch, Durbanville, Constantia and Route 62 (the longest wine route in the world), Paarl, Wellington, Franschhoek and Worcester are extremely popular and boast wine tasting, exquisite meals, concerts, sightseeing and wine related shopping galore.

In addition to the wine stuff, Spier Estate (Stellenbosch wine route) has an arts season that is very popular. Check online for details.

South Africa has wild olive trees that are related to the more commonly known European table kind. This was noticed way back when and some enterprising person decided to cultivate the edible table variety. The result: world class olive groves and award winning olive oils and products.

Whilst 'olive routes' don't exist as such, Morgenster Estate in Somerset West, Kloovenburg and Hillcrest are places to consider visiting.

Not all estates are open to the general public and bookings may need to be done in advance, so check beforehand.

Is Southern Africa gay friendly?

To generalise grossly, Africa is messed up. Historically, the place has been over-run by so many of everyone else that identity is a luxury. You get native French and Portuguese speakers on this continent - people that have never set foot in Paris or Lisbon.

So when 'independence' from the evil overlords was all the rage in the swinging 60's, Africa was plunged into an era of trendy dictatorships (South Africa was no exception). While the Europeans swanned around in their African gold and diamonds, the continent began a journey of decay. Largely forgotten by everyone except the Chinese and Russians, the style of leadership was more red left than blue right. As a result, totalitarian practice such as the sweeping banning of homosexuality, gambling, miniskirts and so on were commonplace. You had to call everyone comrade and brother (in the literal sense) to fit it. Dark glasses with thick black plastic dictator style frames and cream safari suits ruled.

Then democracy becomes the buzz word and corrupt oppressive regimes are overthrown (South Africa was no exception) and replaced by more 'touchy feeley', people centric, all embracing and less corrupt (in the name of transparency) governments. Much of this coincided with the opening up of South Africa as a regional and global trade partner, the fall of the Russian Empire and the sneaky embracing all things capitalist by the Chinese. A rash of voting and people power brought new rules and ideals to an area traditionally devoid of liberal thinking.

The end result? Africa still has many hang ups with many things - homosexuality is one of them - and we are trying our hardest to shake off the past and embrace the future. South Africa has one of the most 'water-tight' democracies in the world - having been modeled on the positives of everywhere else.

But people in countries everywhere have hang-ups over homosexuality, you just need to know where it's technically illegal and where it's 'embraced' or 'allowed'.

South Africa is on the track to legal recognition of same-sex partnerships thanks to the constitutional court. The larger cities are more openly accepting and some of the smaller rural communities are surprisingly accepting (come on, what else is there to do in the middle of nowhere?). However, remember that South Africans are religious, and somewhat conservative. We also have a large Muslim population and we all know how sensitive their ideals can be at times.

Homosexuality is illegal just about everywhere else in Southern Africa although as in any country where things are deemed illegal, you will find pockets of resistance or tolerance. Just don't expect much leniency or sympathy from the legal system. This means that gay bars, restaurants, saunas, shops and sex shops will be all but non-existent but if two 'friends' want to share a tent in a luxury lodge, so be it. Seekers Travel in South Africa are gay friendly (see article)and will be a good start with solid advice on your trip across the continent.

Places to Eat

As there is an article on what to expect foodwise in South Africa, perhaps it might be appropriate to list some restaurants by city. This list will be a work in progress. Feel free to leave replies to this post with restaurant names, location, food type/style and comments on the place. Don't worry if you don't have contact details - if they can be found, they'll be added.

Meanwhile, here are a couple of places that might be worth considering

Johannesburg

• Smith & Wollensky in Sandton City and Eastgate Mall for that classy gentleman's club approach to carnivorous eating


• Col Cacchio in Bryanston for all things pizza


• Primi Piatti at Rosebank Mall or Rivonia Square for an 'international' menu for young trendy things


• JB Rivers in Hyde Park or JB's Corner in Melville Arch. International menu for not so young any more trendy things with young dependents


• Marcel's in Hyde Park (by the movies) for the smoothest tastiest frozen yoghurt


• Moyo at Zoo Lake, Market Theatre and Melrose Arch for African/International experience


• Europa in Parkhurst on 6th. Be seen

Cape Town

• Ons Huisie in Blouberg for traditional seafood based food


• Albert's in Long Street, Gardens for South African and International fare


• Vida e Caffe is a popular haunt for caffeine fixes. Gardens, Willowbridge, City


• Citta boats the best coffee. Also own brand ice-cream. Willowbridge (Tyger Valley)
  

Stellenbosch

• Moyo at Spier is an experience not to be missed. African/international menu and all you can eat buffet

Fruits de la mer

After a trip to Cape Town's very cool Two Ocean's Aquarium, what could be better than a lovely seafood platter at one of the many nearby restaurants?

One thing that would be better is if you could first take the time to have a look at this database of marine species that are endangered. Thanks to the Southern African Sustainable Seafood Initiative for this information. All species in the red column are protected and not supposed to be commercially fished. Those in the orange column are borderline and those in the green... well, they're probably looking forward to moving to the orange column soon.

Many restaurants either do not know they are serving endangered species or are willingly breaking the law for financial gain. Your help with understanding this problem and pointing out the error of the restauranter's ways will be much appreciated by all marine life, including those at the aquarium.

We all need to act responsibly to ensure a planet we can pass on to the future.

Call of the wild

The bush is in our blood. Nothing beats waking up before dawn in the middle of nowhere and listening to nature all around you while watching the sun rise across the plain.

There are over 20 National Parks and hundreds of private game reserves throughout South Africa. A trip to anywhere in Africa has to include a trip to the bush and most definitely, try and stay in the bush a night or two.

The animals tend to be more active early morning and evening - the cooler parts of the day - so they are generally the best times to go game-viewing. Many park will allow you to drive yourselves round. Much as you would be unlikely to jump into the water next to a great white shark, please remember to NOT get out of your car in a game park or reserve. Wild animals have this uncanny ability to pounce on loose people.

Bush camps and lodges vary from the tented to the luxury. Have a look around the SA National Parks website for further information.

Nice for day visits:

• Table Mountain National Park. From Table Mountain itself to Cape Point - hikes, great photo ops and stunning scenery. Dassies, birds and fynbos (Cape flora)


• West Coast National Park. About 1 hour drive up the West Coast from Cape Town near Langebaan and its lagoon. Famous for Eve's footprint. Ostriches, tortoises, fynbos, birds and different species of buck.


• Pilanesberg National Park. Close to Sun City and a two hour drive from Johannesburg and Pretoria. Features the big 5 and a casino nearby. What other park can boast that?

If venturing to Zambia, lodges in the North and South Luangwa valley are a must. They tend to be a bit pricey (all costs in US Dollars for tourists) but they are worth it. A safari in Zambia is unscripted and wild. Animals tend not to pose by the track as they do in East Africa. If you can find a lodge that offers a walking safari, try it. Walking is the most informative way to explore the bush and see wildlife. Kafue National Park is in the middle of the country and a bit more off the beaten track. More acccessible is the park at Livingstone - and most visitors to Zambia head for the Victoria Falls.

Botswana is famous for it's Okavango Delta and being a second home to many South Africans. Aside from the allegedly great working conditions and it's swamp and wildlife, most people from Botswana seem to spend all their free time in Gauteng (being the nearest centre with shops).

Namibia. One of Germany's ex outposts, the place is a desert experience. Big on diamonds, wildlife and desert (the Namib), Namibia is rarely big on the travel itinerary unless you're in the know. Etosha National Park is the best known of the many parks. The one downside is that Namibia's political system is more akin to the old style African dictator and accompanying old fashioned ideaologies. The regime is definately not friendly to gay people and as a result, if you're politically inclined to support more democratic and welcoming countries, Namibia wouldn't be your first port of call.

Naked fun anyone?

South Africa is not as liberal as many other places in the world when it comes to baring all in front of complete strangers. As a species, we've grown accustomed to perfecting the image nature bestowed us with anything gorgeous made in Italy. In addition, our fairly religious background dictates levels of decency and conservative values making for a pretty prohibitive environment to bare all.

The good news is that especially given our history of discrimination, our society is now liberal (at least on the face of it and in a court of law) so theoretically, one could argue it's unconstitutional to not be allowed to walk naked in public when one wants. The ins and outs of liberalism versus conservatism in any society is a whole other story.

At least our weather is good enough (as long as it's not too windy) to help keep one's bits a healthy 'flattering' size - just don't venture anywhere near the water lest you disappoint everyone else on that beach when you re-emerge! Remember: windy = sandblasted skin.

Cape Town: Sandy Bay is the one. Its secluded and popular. The beach is a good 10-15 minute walk from the car park and has none of the handy drink and food stalls of the main beaches - so remember to take your own. There are no public toilets either so remember, everyone knows what you're doing when you wade in waist deep! To get there, drive from town along the coast road towards Clifton and Camps Bay and keep driving till you get to Llandudno (yes, we do have a place with a Welsh name in Africa!). The bushes towards the furthest side of the beach have a maze of tunnels for the boys to 'explore'. Please remember to take all your rubbish with you. Sandy Bay is beautiful but even more so without discarded bottles, cigarette butts and food wrapping stuck into the sand or between rocks.

Durban/Umhlanga: follow Lagoon drive till you get to the car park at the end. The nature trail leads to the beach and lagoon, which is where the nudists are. As with Sandy Bay, not a lot available in amenities and please, remove your rubbish.

Johannesburg: Voelkop is a resort/farm in the Magaliesberg, equidistant from Johannesburg and Pretoria. A men only environment it's a nice day outing with hikes around the farm and a small koppie (hill) for climbing. Voelkop has basic chalets that are available for overnight hire. An entrance fee is charged.

Please remember, that unless private (as with Voelkop) the places mentioned here are unofficial and thus, discretion (if you are going to misbehave) is essential.

Market forces

People love a good scratch around flea markets. It must be something that goes back to our days of hunter/gatherers. Which is just as well, seeing as the traditional market is how a vast majority of Africa's population still shops.

For those more accustomed to more 'user friendly' markets, Cape Town has some excellent choices:

• Greenmarket Square is probably the easiest, central (to the city) one. Good for the obligatory long neck wooden giraffe, batik, bead encrusted doyle glass covers and other such 'traditional african' memorabilia.
• Church Street Antique Market is also in the city centre. Nice for a rummage through yesteryear and if you look carefully, might find some worthwhile stuff.
• Milnerton Flea Market is more of a car-boot affair, so expect the appropriate goods. If you hanker after kitch, this is more than likely where you'll find it.
  

Johannesburg also has it's fair share:

• Rosebank rooftop market is huge and a real morning to afternoon affair where your every need will be catered for. Lots and lots to browse through. Sundays and public holidays only.
• Rosebank Curio Market is open every day for all your african memorabilia needs.
• Michael Mount Organic Market (Bryanston, at the Michael Mount Waldorf School) is good browsing for conscientious adults. There is lots of tasty home produce as well as boutique arts and crafts.
  

African accessibility

The sad fact is that Africa is generally a 'specialist' tourist destination. This is mainly due to its distance from the rest of the world, the cost of travel to and within it, the lack of infrastructure or reliable transport in many areas and oddly, the costs of actually holidaying here.

That isn't to say that Africa is inaccessible. The more 'popular' destinations such as South Africa, Zimbabwe, Namibia, Kenya, Tanzania, Morocco, Egypt etc - will all be fairly cost effective and 'trouble-free' holidays. Venture any deeper into the continent and the visitor may be confronted with cancelled flights, lack of transport, unsuitable accommodation and prices for drinks and 'luxuries' that are possibly as expensive as at home.

To give an example - coming to South Africa for a visit to Cape Town for a few days, then going to the Kruger Park and on to Johannesburg before flying home can all be achieved to schedule, with out any hiccups or unseen costs. Try the same type of itinerary elsewhere and you may not get that connecting flight, or the customs official won't let you through till a bribe is paid or you arrive at the lodge and the chef is missing. That sort of thing. This is not to say that this is the norm - but come on - this is Africa - and this is how it is here. The 'chaos' is part of the fun.

The fact that no-one stresses about these things is testament to 'Africa time'. We don't need psychiatrists here - we worry about nothing! Coming to Africa is an adventure and most people fall in love with the place - chaotic or not. After all - this is where modern humans come from - we're all African at heart.

Save up and book that holiday!

Yes, we have aircon

Its a misconception that Africa in uncivilised. Not that luxuries necessarily determine a state of 'civilisation' - but we do have air-conditioning. Perhaps more urban legend, perhaps based on fact, but people have allegedly been put off visiting our magnificent continent due to the perceived lack of luxuries. Think of this another way; coming to Africa and dealing with the climate and insects will prepare you for global warming.

Literally from Cape to Cairo, the continent has its fair share of glitzy four and five star hotel chains, malls, shops and suburbs. From the familiar international brands, Intercontinental, Sheraton, Crowne Plaza to the more localised Southern Suns and Oberoi's, we are perfectly capable of rolling out the red carpet David Livingston style, complete with pith helmets, white linen suits and waxed mustaches!

True, Africa can also be very raw and graphic - markedly different to the clipped plasticness that we all know and love as Wisteria Lane. That, we defiantly are not. Well, not quite as plastic. The raw and real part of this continent's places adds to it's character. A gleaming steel and glass hotel with aircon by Daicon and ten kilometers away, a poor family living in a shack with a mock aircon painted to the wall. The city folk drive around in shiny recently polished SUV's (kids screaming, jammy prints all over the leather upholstery) while the township kids plat with their home-made wire bikes and cars, dreaming of the day. Different people, same aspirations.

Africa is very civilised.

Forget your swimwear?

Fear not. As a nation, we love getting our kit off and parading up and down beaches in swimwear all glistening, ripped and tanned. The boys that like girls tend to go for the surfer style shorts that these days are more trouser-like than anything resembling the good old Village People day of cut off butt-cheek revealing shorts.

The boys that like boys are all Brazilian male in beach style, preferring the speedo brief posing pouch look or the trendier 70's look faux pocket tan and cream shorts (see above reference to Village People).

If you packed in a hurry and left the swimwear behind, we have a myriad of surf and sport shops to choose from that most malls can offer. If you hanker after your Dolce & Gabanna set sitting forlornly on your bed in your loft apartment back home, try FMO on Main Road, Sea Point. Whilst the choice of men 'designer' goods in South Africa will not be the same as back home, FMO at least provides what others don't. Underwear and swimwear that doesn't make you feel like a sack of potatoes (the actual visual image is however, not controllable by undergarments alone)!

In Johannesburg, FMO has an outlet in the Eastgate area and Alphamale are based in Melville.

Fire hazard

Fires are a hazard in hot, dry places. Loss of property and life can be the side effect, not to mention the emotional and physical strain on emergency services and the strain on natural resources (such as water) in drought ridden areas.

It is always a good idea to take note of signs in car parks or entrances to public areas that inform you as to what is and isn't allowed. The following is a generalisation:

• Only make fires for braai's (a barbecue) in designated areas. They should not be made anywhere else


• Fires are not allowed in National Parks or on beaches - and they definitely are well sign posted and we do prosecute offenders


• In the absence or illegibility of a signpost, just don't


• Do not throw lit cigarettes out of car windows into the road or vegetation on the side of the road. Not only does this decrease public littering, but reduces the threat of fires


• Do not throw glass bottles out of cars for the above reasons


• Take all your litter with you or leave it in the rubbish bins provided. If the bins are full, take it with you


• If at home (or guest house) and you are having a portable braai, note the roofing material of the building you are closest to. If it's thatch, move away

The Table Mountain fire that caused so much damage and resulted in the death of an elderly British lady was supposed to have been caused by a cigarette flicked out of a car window.

Hit the road, Jack

If you already drive on the left side of the road, you’ll be more than capable of driving in South Africa. If you’re a right side driver, just remember the junctions are different! With our esteemed taxi drivers on the loose, the driving can at times be somewhat frustrating but generally we’re a pretty normal driving population who happen to have an appaling track record for accidents and deaths on the road.

There are differences between driving styles depending on where you are and whom you talk to. Gautengers and Capetonians both accuse each other of not being able to indicate and really, they’re both as bad as each other. Rural drivers are polite to the point of infuriating, causing unnecessary tailbacks of politeness and smiles mingled with the faint smell of baking. Capetonians do tend to drive on your tail and change position suddenly and without much warning. Gautengers just love to drive everywhere as fast as possible, gesticulating madly at anyone who’ll pay attention to them.

On the road

We’re a metric country. Not surprisingly, all signs are metric. Forgetting this could land you in hot water if you use any other form of measuring system.

The general speed limit in urban areas is 60 kph (around 37 mph). You may find urban dual carriageways that allow 70 or 80 kph (around 43 or 49 mph) but these will be clearly sign posted. Freeways (or highways/motorways) allow a top speed of 120 kph (around 75 mph). Rule of thumb, travel at the speed the signs say.

Our traffic cops are partial to issuing fines on anything that vehicles can use. So be warned! Please don’t try and bribe them either – even if they hint unsubtly. Not only is it illegal to bribe, but your encouraging them makes our lives more intolerable once you’ve left. They may well be armed but they won’t shoot you for refusing to pay a bribe!

Like everyone else, we are just as capable of being in the wrong lane, at the wrong time, when its least needed – so please don’t get too irritated on the roads. Road rage is a relatively new phenomenon here and people generally less visibly agitated than elsewhere, but bear in mind we have been known to use real weapons in the odd road rage incident.

One quirk of driving in South Africa for some is the ‘four way stop’. These junctions are clearly marked both by road markings and by ‘stop’ signs. The rule is; first vehicle to come to a screeching halt (on the line marking or as close as physically possible) has right of way. This requires a degree of concentration as you have to simultaneously scope out three potential competitors coming from three different directions, judging their distance, speed and driving skill and aggression.

If driving at night, be on the look out for un-roadworthy vehicles that have poor or no lighting. They are a hazard and should not be on the roads, but are something to be aware of.

One for the road?

Don't drink and drive. The Department of Transport road safety campain Arrive Alive, says it quite succinctly. Their website has a heap of good information - have a look.

The police will invariably pitch a road block on the road your on after you had a couple too many. Spot checks are a nationwide thing and especially prevalent at peak driving times (Easter and Christmas), but this is not a hard and fast rule. The police can breathalise you but can't sample body fluids, unless you're dating a policeman.

We just love our police force, and you'll see them out and about in a variety of colours, liveries and branding. Metro Police, Traffic Police, regular Police - be nice to them all!

Parking

Parking bays are generally clearly marked in urban areas. Yellow or red lines mean you should look for instructions on a pole somewhere. Special bays (disabled, deliver, medic etc) are usually clearly marked by paint or a sign. To park in a disabled bay, you need to display the appropriate ‘permit’ (see your Automobile Association) for details. Roads with no markings are generally fine to park in. Some street parking may be metered.

In Cape Town, parking meter wardens replaced all city ‘centre’ meters. Good for job creation. Look for the person wearing a yellow vest and a ticket machine around their neck. You tell them how long you want to park and they press buttons. No ticket is issued apparently.

All malls have parking usually a mixture of paid and unpaid areas. We’re not big on valet parking, so rather not expect it.

Footing it

Anyone on foot more or less has right of way (both unwritten and written). You will find pedestrians everywhere they shouldn’t be, sometimes doing the silliest things. Watch out for people pushing scrap metal (anything with a resale value) in worn out shopping trolleys. Even better, watch out for people crossing a busy freeway at night in non-reflective clothing. As the law stands, the driver is liable if a pedestrian is injured.

There are ‘walk, don’t walk’ signs but they are sometimes ‘ignored, not ignored’. They do allow pedestrians right of way in front of incoming turning traffic (flashing red, don’t walk).

License

You will need to check whether your current driving license allows you to drive in South Africa, but generally an ‘International Driving License’ is acceptable. Your local Automobile Association should be able to advise. Always ensure you have some form of photo identification with you too.

Timing can be important

An old tourism slogan used to be 'A World In One Country'. How true. This implies a variety of climates, landscapes and people. Habitat ranges from desert to tropical, rainforest to dry scrub, warm and cold oceans and high altitude to sea level living. The variety of habitats also means a variety of climates. If you come form the northern hemisphere, remember that southern hemisphere seasons are reversed!

In a rather simplistic way, think of Octoberish to Marchish being hot (and wet depending where you are) and the rest of the time being mild to chilly. We do get snow in some places in South Africa and temperatures can go below freezing. The Western Cape has a brisk south-easterly wind in summer which the wind and water sports enthusiasts love.

For up-to-date weather check Weather SA. For wind all over the world, Windguru.

On Your Hike

Note: This article needs your participation. Feel free to add to this if you know of or have been on any cool South African trails or hikes.

Although many urban South Africans love the comfort of fossil fuel transport, many also enjoy the outdoors and nature; hiking or trails are a great way to exercise and see the land up close and personal. Why not see a bit of South Africa on foot and connect with the land? And no need to worry if you're don't like the idea of forsaking your comfy accommodation for a sleeping bag as many trails offer walks that'll keep you occupied and out of trouble for a day or less.

Remember to take suitable clothing, footwear, sunscreen, water, energy food, maps and directions (a gps if you're really into it), guidebooks, binoculars and camera!

• The Hoerikwagga People's Trail is a recent addition to the trails on Table Mountain in Cape Town


• Hartebeespoort, close to Johannesburg and Pretoria offers some stunning views. Varying trails to the top of the ridge or along the river. Check Jacana for details and other options


• A pretty cool three hour walk can be had at the Tswaing Meteorite Crater Trail outside Pretoria. Its an ancient meteorite crater


• Although not really hiking as such, Voelkop is a gay male only naturist resort in Hartebeespoort. Walks around the farm are enjoyable and the short climp to the top of the koppie (hill thingy) offers opportunities for fun in the bushes views over the resort
  

Using Water

South Africa has a fresh water problem. For that matter, so does the rest of the world, but seeing as you're reading this, the focus will be purely local.

Africa can be a hot place, with a growing population that doesn't have easy access to fresh, clean and safe water. Add to this issues with drought and you get a pretty desperate situation for many.

Those lucky enough to have easy access to water 'on tap' often forget just how lucky they are. Those staying in hotels and guest houses are no exception.

So, keeping water use to a necessary minimum ensures that there is more to go around. Pretty simple in theory. In practice, this means remembering those perky things like not leaving taps running, not flushing the toilet unnecessarily, watering the garden at the right time of day or washing the car a bit less often.

Things for the visitor to bear in mind:

• When brushing teeth or shaving, don't keep the tap running


• Flush the toilet only when necessary


• A short, functional shower generally uses less water than a bath


• Keep laundry to a minimum and reuse bathroom and pool towels as long as possible


• Drive your hire-car without washing it


• If your hotel or guest house is watering the garden during the heat of the day, ask them if its necessary seeing as most water evaporates in the heat of the day


• Splashing and splosing water in the pool is fun, but try and keep it contained in the pool. Filling a pool needs council permission and pools are one of the major strains on our water system

These few, thoughtful gestures will really reduce fresh water use and ensure more goes around for all. It may not seem like your effort contributes much, but it does if we all use water sparingly.

After Dark

South Africa's gay nightlife is similar, yet different to gay nightlife in other cities with Johannesburg and Cape Town having definite differences.

Perhaps South Africa still suffers from societal acceptance issues, or perhaps society is so integrated that the need for a 'gay ghetto' is not needed? Whichever, there are places that gather for gay men and women, and places that are happy to have anyone. Take your preference.

Starting with Cape Town, which is more popular on the tourist agenda. Bronx, Cruz, Barcode and Sliver are very popular. Being in close proximity, its not unusual to see the same people in different places as many like to flit between the venues. Whether this is to check out the quality of goods on offer at 'place b', or to just have a change of scene and music, who knows? Lipstick Lounge is one for ladies.

Not strictly always for after dark, the saunas on offer are Pumphouse and Hothouse - being favourites for post club chilling.

Unlike Cape Town, Johannesburg has its nightlife spread out all over the place. From the Heartland in the South, to Ramp Diva in the East to Citrus Lounge that changes venue. The venues are bigger, the pace hectic - but you don't feel as squished up against the sweaty torsos as you might in Cape Town - which may or may not appeal to some.

For up to date listings, check out Mambaonline.

What about food?

Photo taken at Moyo, Spier - Stellenbosch.

Update 2005-01-24: There are a couple of specific places linked here, as well as links to sites you can search for restaurants on. This article is by no means a critique on individual places or cooking styles, more a very general view on what a visitor might expect meal wise (for those who might be concerned enough to bring tinned food along).

South Africa does food pretty well really. Aside from the fact that visitors get pretty good value and quality for money (you need to please not do that money conversion thing so loudly and visibly - it just upsets us locals who earn a pittance) the choice of food is pretty impressive too. Restaurants and cafes that focus on 'globalised' fare are literally in every mall and high street - from burger variations to the obligatory pastas, there is something for almost everyone.

Vegetarians (in all their various guises) are the exception to this rule. Get used to eating a salad (you'll swear that damn salad follows you from restaurant to restaurant) or anything with spinach and feta. You probably also wont be able to get a satisfactory answer if you want to really get the food contents laid open for your inspection (What type of gelatin do you use? Is there vegetable rennet in the cheese?). There are some speciality vegetarian places and Col'Cacchio pizzerias make a good effort.

We are surrounded by ocean and by default, seafood. Price-wise, its pretty good. Not as good as subsidised meals in Las Vegas, but the next best thing. Again, quality and quantity rule. A prawn in England is flea sized when compared to what we call a prawn (you need two hands to hold it). As we haven't really yet mastered the art of completely polluting our national waters, the seafood is safe to eat - but always make sure its fresh!

You'll note that we also do chain-restaurants very well and we're big on franchises here. A News Cafe in Blouberg will be the same quality and standard as a News Cafe in Menlyn. They provide hearty fare at a reasonable rate.

If you're in the Cape, really make an effort to eat at some of the wine estates. They're not as instantly visually gratifying as dining in Camps Bay and surrounds, but the food is generally excellent and you could be forgiven for thinking you were dining in genteel Tuscany.

Supporting the Pink community, Cafe Manhattan is popular and offers a nice bar area for some post dining cruising. You'll find that many of the bars and restaurants in the Waterkant area will be more than happy to have your patronage. Its such a nice, friendly area! Essentially, the food scene is more 'integrated' rather than 'ghettoised'.

Comparing the food scene in Jo'burg and Cape Town is difficult. Both offer a great choice and good quality and somewhat iffy service. Noticeably, Jo'burg gets comatose around 21:00 regardless of which day. Its a bizarre thing, but Johannesburg restaurants don't have that packed till 2am feel that you get in popular restaurants in big cities. You'll be eating and next minute you notice all the customers have disappeared, the chairs are all stacked away and the two remaining staff are smoking by the front door, waiting for you to finish that two litre bottle of mineral water.

If you happen do have fidgety offspring with you, Spur Steak Ranches are a good choice as they thankfully embrace what other restaurants dread. Many of the drive-thru variety burger type chains will have kids entertainment areas too - so mom and dad can calorie restock in relative peace.

Check out Restaurants.co.za or Dining Out for South Africa wide restaurant listings.

Gymming, if You're That Way Inclined

South Africans are an outdoorsey bunch. Well, we have the right climate and enough space. Despite all this, some of us love to gym. Perhaps its an inner desire to not fall foul to the weight issues supposedly plaguing western(ised) countries, or perhaps some of us are just plain old vain. Who knows?

If you feel the urge to drag your gym kit along on your visit to South Africa, you might find the following useful once you've decided which gym camp you fall into.

For exercise.

Some hotels have exercise facilities but are more likely to consist of equipment that could have come from your great aunt Edna's spare room. Your best bet is either a Virgin Active or a Planet fitness. Virgin Active definitely offer visitor passes and some will allegedly allow repeated paid entry based on you knowing a member's name. Its best to contact the gym closest to you for correct details.

Cycling and running are also options. In Cape Town, there are several cycle hire places and an abundance of beaches for shirtless posing jogging; Victoria Road from Bantry Bay to the Clifton beaches being the favourite. The promenade along Sea Point to Mouille Point is great for cruising jogging too. With its views of table mountain, Blouberg is the place - though you'll have to negotiate the perambulating crowds, some prams, street hawkers (anything from fixing your car's aircon to wooden patio furniture) and not to mention the myriad of hot guys in kitesurf gear (we love the neoprene look).

Cycling and road running in Johannesburg are somewhat more adventure sports than regular activities (see post on taxis). Cyclelab may be a viable cycling alternative to risking life and limb on the roads. If you have to jog on the street, its best to go with someone else - just to be one the safe side. Never go jogging with your video camera round your neck, latest Nokia to the ear or diamond encrusted Rolex lopping on your wrist - its asking for trouble in any big city with issues.

For cruising (not the sort done in a 1960's American motor).

Gyms the world over seem to attract men attracted to testosterone, sweat and grunting, regardless of actual sexual orientation. Gyms (and sports) probably unleash some primal hunting and gathering instinct. Because of this, you can try your luck pretty much anywhere there are men in skimpy clothes, a changing room and perhaps a sauna and steam room thrown in. But if you don't have time on your side and you need a better bet...

...Point Virgin Active (at Green Point, Cape Town) attracts the lions share of the gorgeous boys, not all of whom are as interested in fitness and building muscle as you may be. The same is true of Old Ed's and Sandton Virgin Actives in Johannesburg and Groenkoof Virgin Active in Pretoria.

Please remember that other people also use these gyms and facilities, and its arguably uncool to get kicked out of a gym for lewd acts in the showers.

When is a Taxi, a Taxi?

Africa has many exceptions to many rules, and forms of public transport are some of them. For the uninitiated, this could either be your last journey alive or an adventure you'll never forget!

In South Africa, there are two main kinds of taxi. The first is the typical looking family sedan with a few bumps in the fender and an orangey light thingy angled precariously on the roof. These can sometimes be found waiting at major tourist spots and airports, or phone ordered to collect, wait and deliver (by the concierge or yourself). These are metered and regulated by the Government. Although pricey, they should be your first option.

The second is the mass transport taxi, generally a 15 seat 'combi' or mini-bus made by Toyota but now christened 'Rambo'. Take note of the 'Emergency Exit' or 'Nooduitgang' painted on the back window... Millions of South Africans use this cheaper form of convenience transport, but sadly hundreds lose their lives every year doing so. This is generally when these vehicles hit the Freeways (or speed through red lights at a junction). They are somewhat licensed and regulated but remain one of those industries that Government cant quite get to grips with. Cape Town 'taxis' are arguably better than the Jo'burg ones - having more defined routes and generally less aggressive drivers. Jo'burg 'taxi' drivers are a special breed. Resilient to the point of being super-human, they are driving machines that communicate in place-name sign language on a money-making mission. Pack-em high, speed 'em around, do as many trips as possible. Who needs to bungy when you can take a Jo'burg taxi?

For the less adventurous, hotels, airlines and tour operators offer airport shuttles, tours and drop off circular routes.

We Accept Tips!

One of those things that can strike fear into the heart of a seasoned traveller is the tip conundrum. We love money in South Africa, so feel free to tip - as long as you feel its worth it. Its unlikely that you'll feel pressured into tipping by the person offering the service - unless its an airport porter (they are regulated and very officially visible) or a car-park attendant (but they wont throw themselves under your fast speeding away car to get your attention).

How much to tip? 10% is the unwritten rule. Most restaurants will automatically add a tip to the bill for largeish groups - but this differs from place to place. Whether you add an amount to your credit card slip or leave cash, is up to you. The car-park mafia do perform a service by supposedly looking after your vehicle in a relatively secure car park. There are no stories of car park attendant anti robber heroism, but regardless, they perform some form of service. They are normally happy with 1-2 Rand but by all means, pay more if they've been guarding your rent-a-car all day while you eye up bronzed muscles on the beach.

Should you be doing self-catering, you'll need to visit a supermarket. There, you'll likely find your groceries are packed for you. Its probably more abnormal to tip the packer (if she packed and he scanned, shouldn't you tip both?) so if in doubt, don't. Hairdressers are pretty good here and tips to the hair washer and hair dresser are fine but not expected.

Tour guides and drivers will be happy with a thank-you - but a tip will really make them smile. Taxi drivers - heck, if you arrive alive and in one piece, show your gratitude with 10%!

Menial staff are generally on a low wage, so tips in bars and restaurants and so on can make a difference.

Special events (raves, parties) and night-time parking will generally demand a higher tip - if not a set parking fee (which can be extornionate), so if you felt like driving around to find a cheaper spot, do so - but for the sake of saving a few Rand, its a lot of effort. Dont forget that events in town mean proper secure parking places (the indoor ticketed kind).

Say What?

South Africa has eleven official languages. We're by no means the winner in the multiple languages per country competition, but eleven is still a lot.

For the visitor, unless you speak Dutch, English will do. Many people in the more frequently visited tourist spots will converse in English. If you're not a native English speaker, don't worry - many South Africans aren't either.

Much language here owes its roots to something else - so its not uncommon to hear words or phrases of another language mixed up in casual conversation. In fact, many South Africans will flit from language to language without realising it. Added to that, our unique form of English (see previous sentences on language mixing).

Language also depends very much on where you are. Cape Town is pretty much covered by English and Afrikaans (various dialects). Durban is more English. In Johannesburg, business is predominantly done in English but a multitude of languages will be heard off-duty in the suburbs. Pretoria, being the Capital is a mixture of English and Afrikaans - but as its the traditional home of the Afrikaaner heartland, will be pretty non-English outside the centre. Our indigenous African languages are spoken all over the place but are mostly geographically separated as follows: Cape - Xhosa, Durban - Zulu, Gauteng - Sesotho. However, Zulu is fairly universal across the country.

The various provinces will emphasize languages differently. For example, in the Cape its not uncommon to see public notices in three languages - trying to reach the largest audience. The language issue can be contentious here, especially given the past and the various colonising countries.

We have many modern emigrants too, all of whom will converse in their own tongue: Chinese, Indian, Swedish, French, German, various Eastern European will all be heard, sometimes in the most unexpected of places.

The Post-landing 'Shock'

If you have never visited Cape Town before, you will more than likely have to drive to your holiday accommodation - especially if the kids have gone ahead in the chopper... Driving out of the airport entails driving through an informal settlement. It can be quite unnerving for some, especially if you've never seen anything like it before. There are guided tours to these settlements that can be arranged by your hotel or tour company. There is a very real possibility you could be hijacked if you attempt to venture into one by yourself but there again, you can as easily be hijacked or mugged in New York or London, so its wise to exercise caution wherever you are.

Slums and townships throughout Africa are actually vibrant communities and in many ways are better neighbourhoods than the sterile housing communities that the middle and upper income groups increasingly migrate to. There is a sense of belonging, community and pride despite the physical limitiations of the area.

Cape Town is a real city of contrasts. The visually appalling against the backdrop of the intensely beautiful. The destitute poor living next to the insanely wealthy. We are taking steps to address this in the ways our current government sees fit and they must be applauded for everything they have done so far - but where people are concerned, there is always work to do. Be supportive and not critical - its a huge and daunting task.

Welcome to the Cape of Good Hope!

updated 2006-01-24

Malls Are Us

Mall shopping is our unofficial national sport. Hordes of people descend on our many cloned malls on Saturdays with families, distant great great aunts, pushchairs and shopping trolleys . So if you want to keep your sanity, avoid them over weekends. If that's your thing, good luck! In Cape Town, we generally have later weekday opening hours for the larger malls (the Victoria & Alfred Waterfront and Canal Walk). Most shops will be open till 21:00 and is a more genteel experience.

Most major cities will have shops that open 7 days a week come rain or shine. Some places will have half-day closing on Sundays and Public Holidays. The smaller cities/towns/villages will be less inclined to open out of regular hours - so be prepared.

We have beautiful weather in South Africa, yet many malls are indoors and themed. Some newer 'malls' have gone against tradition and embraced the open air and a 'community' experience- notably, Melrose Arch in Johannesburg, Clearwater Mall in Roodepoort, The Design Quarter in Fourways and Willowbridge Mall in Tyger Valley.

If you want to party, generally, alcohol is bought from 'bottle stores'. Most malls will have one. This is where you get 'hard' liquor, crates of beer or wines. Some places in Cape Town and Johannesburg sell alcohol on Sundays but generally this is not the norm - you need to stock up before closing on Saturday. Drinking alcohol in public spaces is legally a 'no-no' - so check the rules and regulations wherever you plan on picnicking or braaiing.

Its a Beach Day!

Cape Town has beautiful beaches, many of them pristine. Some of them... well, who care about pristine when the surroundings and boys are gorgeous?

The popular one with 'the boys' is Clifton Three. Clifton is one of Cape Town's more affluent neighbourhoods and has spectacular views across the ocean, with the looming flanks of Table Mountain rising behind. As far as wind goes, the Clifton beaches are the better choice for avoiding that sand-covered look. There are snack, ice-cream and drinks sales people galore, so you won't die of thirst - and what better way to introduce yourself to some tasty tanning morsel than by buying them an ice cold soda?

Slightly further down from Clifton is Camps Bay - where the beautiful people hang out. The restaurants and coffee places vary from good to excellent - and if you're converting into foreign currency, generally a damn good deal for what you pay for.

The popular one for those that prefer 'hanging free' is Sandy Bay - further down the coast from Clifton and not so good with on-beach refreshments (or bins). You'll definitely need to take sunscreen, drink and food. Please take your rubbish away though and above all, be discreet! You don't want to be giving the family a bad name now, would you? There have been reports of 'incidents' - last one being a lady that was molested/raped - so be vigilant and careful. There are houses overlooking the area, but not in close proximity to the 'nudist beach' so peak times and groups are always good.

For that picture postcard photo of Cape Town and Table Mountain, Blouberg's various beaches are the place to visit. Looking across the city from the top of Table Mountain look right and follow the silver endless beach that curves into the distance. That's Milnerton/Table View/Blouberg/Melkbosstrand and beyond. Any stop along there and you've got that sought-after photo.